six lovely months

we celebrated our "six month anniversary" on sunday. however, the celebration turned into a weekend event. karson took me to dinner and then surprised me with a night getaway to sundance. i love my hunny. we've been married six months, but it seems so much longer--in a very good way of course.

when karson and i liked loved? each other when i was a freshmen in high school, i remember he always wanted to hold my hand. if you know me VERY well, you know that i get sweaty hands... and its not just when im nervous. its majority of the time. its embarrassing, i know. back then though, it was absolutely mortifying to me if anyone knew that i got sweaty hands. (i even remember crying about it once).

anyway, we were at a friends house, and she had a small decorative fountain in her home that was running with nice, cold water. karson and i were sitting by it, and he kept reaching for my hand and of course i kept avoiding it. for some reason i suddenly had the urge to tell him that "i dont like to hold hands because they get sweaty and it makes me nervous".

karson being karson probably laughed (i dont remember) but i do remember him putting his hand in the fountain, pulled it out, and said "madeleine now my hand is sweaty too, so we can hold hands."
i fell in love right at that moment.

karson continues to surprise me with things like "sticking his hand in a fountain" for me.
and i will always love him so much for that and feel so grateful that i got to marry him, and to continue to grow with him each day.
i'm so in love.

ps. we are 19 weeks along, & the baby wont stop moving. i am absolutely loving it!


a picnic up the canyon.

just a few days ago karson told me it was "my day" and that we could do whatever i wanted. i surprised him with a picnic - pork burrito from cafe rio - chips - and two sodas, diet coke for me and diet pepsi for him.
mm, cafe rio sounds so good right now, and its only 11 am, yikes! that is currently one of my few cravings... i am just glad that i have moved on from sunflower seeds to actual meals!

i believe that my inability to smile is from pregnancy, or at least i hope it is. we tried and tried to take a cute picture together (that i liked), but karson told me "maybe today just isn't the day". i was determined to take a couple more, especially since karson looked like a rockstar in every single picture. even my photo album wouldn't disagree with me! we eventually got one that i was OK with, and i am pretty sure i stomped back to the car, with karson laughing behind me. (from now on, in pictures i think i will just look emotionless?)

my belly is growing. so quickly. and feeling our baby each day, i cant even express to you how exciting it is feeling the little one move. even though i don't get much sleep, i love that its mostly at nighttime when i get to feel our wiggle worm the most.
the other night i had a dream that our baby was already born. it was a boy (which it usually is in all of my dreams of babies, and on occasion a baby girl will be there instead), which makes me so convinced that it is a sweet little boy. however everyone else is certain its a girl. which would be just as amazing as a boy. however, time will tell! (only a week and a half until our gender ultrasound! so excited!!)
anyway, the baby was already born, and he was sleeping just right down the hall from me and karsons room. the dream felt so real, that my entire nights rest turned into a very light sleep (actually i am not even sure if i really slept at all) to make sure i could hear if our baby was crying. when i got up the next morning, i realized that the night before even though it was just a dream was how it was going to be for probably a lot of the rest of my life. but you know what? i cant wait. i say that now, not knowing how exhausted i truly am going to be, but really. i think about karson and i being parents, and my heart wants to explode.

22 more weeks to go!


happy halloween!

i just love halloween. dressing up is one of my very favorite things. & you better believe
that i am already thinking of what me, karson, and our sweet little baby will be for next year!
& hopefully my love wont have a cast on next halloween. he broke his ankle just the night before,
but still let me dress him up because he knows how much i love this holiday.
(i also think he didn't pass it up because it was his only chance to get a pair of leggings on) :)
just a few days ago (the 29th to be exact) i woke up very suddenly because something in my belly was
definitely doing flips or something of the sort. it was the first time i had felt anything like that
and i knew instantly that it was baby payton.
it was only 6 in the morning and karson was still sound asleep so i yelled at him
 "the baby is moving!!!!"
i probably scared the living daylights out of him, but i just couldn't let him miss it!
however, even if he did miss it, there have been multiple opportunities since then to feel our little kicker! feeling the baby for the very first time was such a wonderful moment and ohhh it made me SO HAPPY.