pregnancy.

my handsome hubby and i are having a baby, and our hearts are so happy!

i have so many things to write, but i've erased my sentence a million times

just not knowing how to say it.

really quick, i am pretty positive that i have every pregnancy symptom there

was ever made. nausea (morning sickness all day long), emotional roller coaster, 

fatigue, leg cramps, back ache, smells make me spin, headaches, etc.

please do not think that i am in any way complaining! i read this thing on one

of my MANY pregnancy apps... that having symptoms such as i do, is a good

thing & the hormones are all working. 

so anytime i throw up, or am dry heaving (sorry, this is for me to remember)

i just think, ok my hormones are working, which means the baby is doing its 

amazing thing that it needs to do.

i am not going to lie though. feeling sick all day does occasionally get to me,

and there have been some tears shed, but karson is always right there telling me

its going to be ok. which does help tremendously.

on a funnier note.

one of my symptoms i wrote was "emotional roller coaster".

even though i feel sick most of the day, there are some foods that

sound somewhat good to me, and those foods i can usually keep

down really well. one of those foods is a -vegas roll- from happy

sumo. i think it has to do with it being fried, and somewhat a comfort

food. anyway, last night karson and i went there on a double date.

i ordered my vegas roll and was so excited to get that thing in my mouth.

my first emotional experience in public:

we went out with one of karsons good friends from middle school, and he

was talking about how him and karson used to sit outside and karson would look at me

and tell his friend that one day he was going to marry me.

i've heard these stories a thousand times, and they always touch my

heart and make me happy... but we were at dinner, and all of a sudden i 

can feel my eyes watering. yes, i was about to start crying! it was just

such a cute story, and of course they were happy tears, but i had absolutely

no control! however, no one noticed so i thought i was definitely off the hook.

but then there was a 2nd:

ever since karson introduced me to the vegas roll, i have been a very big

fan of the -end pieces- on the rolls. so i'll start eating from the middle to 

the ends.

karson knows that. and last night when the waitress brought our food,

i first glanced at the end pieces to see "how they looked". and one

of my end pieces looked incredibly tasty, and my taste buds were

salivating, which doesn't happen that often anymore. so you can imagine

my excitement to eat those two end pieces.

i had just eaten a couple of pieces in the middle and looked away for literally two seconds.

i looked back and in the corner of my eye, i can see karsons face. and it was a
"i just

did something and I'm trying not to smile face". so i don't hesitate for one second

and look straight down at my plate and he had eaten the end piece that had made

my taste buds salivate.

i looked at him, and asked him why on earth he did that. and then my eyes started to

get really really big (which happens when I'm about to start crying, and karson

knows that look oh so well). he immediately starts telling me how sorry he is,

and that he feels so bad, and kept pulling me in to hug me. but then it just happened. 

i started to cry. and it wasn't just crying, it was very close to sobbing. & in happy sumo!

that is a little embarrassing, maybe a lot embarrassing. i made the other date laugh. 

which is a good thing i suppose.

oh pregnancy and the wonderful emotions it brings along with it!

ps. sorry if that did not make any sense. i feel like i don't even know how to write

anymore, and i am most definitely going to blame it on pregnancy brain.

&

ps, one more time. karson is going to be the best daddy around, and that makes my 

heart happy!