back labor

In the evening on March 21, 2014 Karson was heading home from soccer and called me to ask me out on a date. We decided on Happy Sumo, one of our favorites. I was going to be 38 weeks exactly the very next day. I had a feeling rill was going to come early. My belly was so tight, and i was certain it couldn't stretch anymore. But my belly wasn't the only reason why i thought he was going to come early. I had a feeling we were going to have a boy, and i was right! Just like that feeling i thought he would be coming early, i just kept it to myself. Karson got home and we headed out. I ate almost my whole plate. I was so starving that night. And just like after every meal the heart burn began. It was really awful though, the tums weren't working their magic like they normally do. We walked around riverwoods for a little while and headed into soel because they always have darling baby clothes, etc. We then met up with some friends and decided to go bowling. I scored a whopping 22. My balance was just a little off. After bowling we headed home. We got right into bed and watched a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother. Karson could barely stay awake, so i just laid in bed, and let the heartburn, burn.

 

 I woke up around midnight. My body felt so weird, i felt almost as if i was getting sick, and my body was just hurting, especially my back. I kept getting out of bed and walking around. The pain was on and off, about every 4 or 5 minutes. I dozed off in between those couple of minutes and after waking up multiple times to the pain i thought, maybe these are contractions? I had no idea that you could have back labor--thank the heavens for google! I laid there and started timing the contractions. It went from about 5 minutes to 2 and a half very quickly. Karson was holding my hand while still trying to sleep, except evertime a contraction came i probably squeezed his hand to death. I told Karson that this could maybe be it, but i wasn't sure, and i definitely didn't want it to be a false alarm. It was about 2:45am now, and i decided to call my mom and ask her what she thought. After we hung up, i noticed some spotting and yelled downstairs to Karson that it was time to go to the hospital!

7:42

a year ago yesterday my handsome karson got down on his knee at 7:42pm and asked me to be his wife. and i love that day so much.

 sometimes i still cant believe that i get my favorite person in this entire world, forever. that is the greatest thing i've ever heard. forever with
karson payton!

35 weeks.

i am sitting in my living room and looking outside. there are so many moms walking their sweet little sunshines in their cute strollers, and i feel a little envious. however, i am just enjoying these last couple weeks as much as i can because it is the only time ever karson and i will have alone again. after our baby boy gets here life is going to be so different, but in such an amazing way and we feel so blessed and excited.

life is getting busier. and when i say life is getting busier i mean karsons life is. i have now officially conquered entertaining myself at our home, alone, every day. but lets be honest, i wont be alone every single day much longer!

35 weeks: 

-my body hurts, and my belly is stretching like crazy-- no stretch marks yet though, thank goodness!

-i have to pee all of the time. and i mean it when i say all of the time.

-baby boy kicks a ton, and sometimes its so hard that it hurts me just a little. or wakes me up and there is no point in trying to go back to sleep because once he gets started, he doesn't stop. i love it.

-my ankles haven't started swelling yet, but after a long day of standing my feet definitely need to be propped up on a pillow.

-i am so hungry, most of the time. but some days the morning sickness decides to come back and i have a difficult time with deciding what i want.

-i really enjoy creamies.

&

-hes getting so big and strong inside my belly that i have a hard time getting a good breath of air.

33 more days until april 5th.

yippppeee!

forget the butterflies.

just a couple of days ago we had a quick-ish trip to the ER. karson had left for soccer practice, which left me home alone. i started to get cramps. which usually isn't the best sign when you're pregnant. & these cramps were making me hurt really really bad. soon after, i started getting other symptoms/signs of going into labor. i called karson a million times, but he was in a meeting, so i called my mom. she said to call the doctor, and doctor was out of town and not answering. so then i called the hospital. & it was a machine talking to me. so i hung up and the water works started coming.

i felt scared. i wasn't ready for our baby to get here yet! not that i don't want him, but i knew it was be a very scary process, especially with me being only 28 weeks. (29 tomorrow). 

karson finally answered, and he raced home. we decided it was best to go to the ER and go from there. We did all sorts of tests, and listened to the baby's heartbeats and kicks for a couple hours--which was a very wonderful treat! they finally decided that it was a "tense uterus" (whatever that means) which was giving me these horrible symptoms. they gave me medicine to calm it down and away we went!

so grateful, & happy that our baby boy is still in my stomach growing and getting the nutrients that he needs. & it is such a lovely thing worrying and caring about someone that you haven't even met yet! karson and i are so excited to meet our little one.

(this picture was taken AFTER all of the tests, and everything was perfect with our baby).

the next day karson & i went up to park city for the film festival with abby and maddy. we ate at a restaurant that wasn't very good, and then saw a film that was funny & sad but at the same time not that great. however, it was a fun little outing in park city. main street is just so cute.

my love and i. i found a quote today and it says, "forget the butterflies, i feel the whole zoo when i am with you." isn't it wonderful? ---& its so true handsome :)

it was a blur.

the month of december went by oh so quickly,
and i am already feeling like january is flying past me.

karson and i picking up our first christmas tree.

a weekend trip up to salt lake with my family. & i decided to go blonde.

a baby who is growing so very quickly -- only 12 more weeks!

my handsome husbands birthday. he is a new years babe!

we moved to provo. & are beyond thrilled about it.
also, having the provo bakery exactly 1 minute away i think would make anyone happy :)

six lovely months

we celebrated our "six month anniversary" on sunday. however, the celebration turned into a weekend event. karson took me to dinner and then surprised me with a night getaway to sundance. i love my hunny. we've been married six months, but it seems so much longer--in a very good way of course.

when karson and i liked loved? each other when i was a freshmen in high school, i remember he always wanted to hold my hand. if you know me VERY well, you know that i get sweaty hands... and its not just when im nervous. its majority of the time. its embarrassing, i know. back then though, it was absolutely mortifying to me if anyone knew that i got sweaty hands. (i even remember crying about it once).

anyway, we were at a friends house, and she had a small decorative fountain in her home that was running with nice, cold water. karson and i were sitting by it, and he kept reaching for my hand and of course i kept avoiding it. for some reason i suddenly had the urge to tell him that "i dont like to hold hands because they get sweaty and it makes me nervous".

karson being karson probably laughed (i dont remember) but i do remember him putting his hand in the fountain, pulled it out, and said "madeleine now my hand is sweaty too, so we can hold hands."

i fell in love right at that moment.

karson continues to surprise me with things like "sticking his hand in a fountain" for me.

and i will always love him so much for that and feel so grateful that i got to marry him, and to continue to grow with him each day.

i'm so in love.

ps. we are 19 weeks along, & the baby wont stop moving. i am absolutely loving it!

a picnic up the canyon.

just a few days ago karson told me it was "my day" and that we could do whatever i wanted. i surprised him with a picnic - pork burrito from cafe rio - chips - and two sodas, diet coke for me and diet pepsi for him.

mm, cafe rio sounds so good right now, and its only 11 am, yikes! that is currently one of my few cravings... i am just glad that i have moved on from sunflower seeds to actual meals!

i believe that my inability to smile is from pregnancy, or at least i hope it is. we tried and tried to take a cute picture together (that i liked), but karson told me "maybe today just isn't the day". i was determined to take a couple more, especially since karson looked like a rockstar in every single picture. even my photo album wouldn't disagree with me! we eventually got one that i was OK with, and i am pretty sure i stomped back to the car, with karson laughing behind me. (from now on, in pictures i think i will just look emotionless?)



my belly is growing. so quickly. and feeling our baby each day, i cant even express to you how exciting it is feeling the little one move. even though i don't get much sleep, i love that its mostly at nighttime when i get to feel our wiggle worm the most.
the other night i had a dream that our baby was already born. it was a boy (which it usually is in all of my dreams of babies, and on occasion a baby girl will be there instead), which makes me so convinced that it is a sweet little boy. however everyone else is certain its a girl. which would be just as amazing as a boy. however, time will tell! (only a week and a half until our gender ultrasound! so excited!!)
anyway, the baby was already born, and he was sleeping just right down the hall from me and karsons room. the dream felt so real, that my entire nights rest turned into a very light sleep (actually i am not even sure if i really slept at all) to make sure i could hear if our baby was crying. when i got up the next morning, i realized that the night before even though it was just a dream was how it was going to be for probably a lot of the rest of my life. but you know what? i cant wait. i say that now, not knowing how exhausted i truly am going to be, but really. i think about karson and i being parents, and my heart wants to explode.

22 more weeks to go!